Beef Wellington is the NEW IWS Champion!

Beef Wellington beat Kevin Steen for the IWS Title, but not without controversy as Kevin Steen nailed Beef with a Package Pile-driver while standing on four chairs, but before the referee could count the automatic pin, the lights at Le Skratch went out, giving Beef a chance to recover. When the lights came back on, Kevin struck Beef a glancing blow to his chin with a super-kick, but Beef played possum giving him a chance to turn Kevin’s attempted pin into a leveraged roll-up for the win to steal Mr. Wrestling’s IWS gold.

IWS Season’s Beatings

Saturday, January 10th, 2009
Le Skratch, Chomedey, Laval, Quebec

Franky the Mobster vs. Twiggy
Franky beat Twiggy with the Credibility Statement after 10:11.

2.0 (Jagged and Shane Matthews) vs. Brian Korklan & Mike Bailey
The two IWS rookies had an impressive debut pinning Shane Matthews for the win at 7:15.

Christmas Tree Death Match: “The Big Rig” Brodie Lee vs. The Green Phantom
The Green Phantom won his signature match giving Brodie Lee a Phantasm on to the Christmas Tree after 8:23.

IWS Tag Team Title Match: IWS Champions Up in Smoke (Cheech and Cloudy) vs. The Untouchables (Dan Paysan and Jimmy Stone)
The Untouchables became the new IWS Tag Team Champions pinning Cloudy after 16:19.

Player Uno vs. the Evil Ninja
The Evil Ninja beat Uno after a Tombstone pile-driver through a chair after 7:47.

Stupefied vs. “Heavy” Maxx Fury vs. Shayne Hawke
Hawke pinned Stupefied for the win after 5:11.

IWS Title Match : IWS Champion Kevin Steen vs. Beef Wellington
Beef Wellington became the new IWS Champion after 12:07.

Detailed Results for IWS Season’s Beatings

Season’s Beatings started with the welcome return of “Iron” Mike Paterson who we haven’t seen in an IWS ring since Un F’N Sanctioned 2003. After someone hit Mike with a light-tube in the Fans Bring The Weapons match, Mike left wrestling for the greener pastures of comedy, commercials and kids’ TV. Mike may look like Bobcat Goldwaite and sound like Daffy Duck, but it is not hard to see who got the lion’s share of the talent in the Paterson family.

For the record, Nic and Mike’s author brother Mark got all the rest of the talent plus all of the looks in the family. Nic is the only one who knows how to dress, so that’s nice for him. Think Nic reads theses? Guess I am about to find out.

One of Nic Paterson’s first actions as President was reinstating Franky the Mobster (suspended by Manny after a backstage altercation) allowing a sequel to Twiggy and Franky’s match from Un F’N Sanctioned 2008 shockingly won by Twiggy. Franky’s initial loss came as a result of underestimating Twiggy. Franky was more cautious in this match, but almost not cautious enough. Something about Twiggy seems to lull Franky’s killer instinct, but it was not quite enough to prevent Franky’s win after Franky hit his Credibility Statement choke-slam power-bomb right after flattening Twiggy with a T-Bone Suplex.

I was delighted to see Mike Bailey make his IWS debut, Mike was an IWS broom-boy for years. It was great to see him wrestling in a ring he knew so well, and better still excelling, as Mike and Brian bounced all over 2.0, the rookies frustrating the veterans with their speed and skill. Mike and Brian got the win in their debut pinning Shane Matthews, but Matthews had the last word as he offered his congratulations to the new duo, in the process mangling Brian Korklan’s name into Brian Cockknocker, a name that I suspect will stick.

Before his annual Christmas Tree Death Match, the Green Phantom handed out gifts including a DVD of Survivor Series to me. Thanks Phantom! It’s the one where Jake Roberts is going blind! Brodie Lee got in to the spirit of the thing, bringing Phantom a tin of Mrs. Lee’s home-baked cookies that he promptly crushed on Phantom’s head. The two big men brawled in and out of the crowd with Brodie Lee having the early advantage thanks to his cookie-aided cheating, but the Green Phantom rallied, making Brodie Lee a star by shoving the top of the Christmas Tree up Brodie’s ass and then winning the match by dead-weight lifting Brodie Lee for an impressive Phantasm on to the Christmas Tree.

While the IWS broom-boys cleaned up the shattered remnants of the tree, Inter-Species Wrestling super-duper star Giant Tiger came out to announce the ISW show at Foufounes Electriques Slamtasia 2 on Sunday, February 17th. In typical Giant Tiger fashion, the segment ended with a half – hell – almost completely undressed Giant Tiger giving “Iron” Mike Paterson a passionate kiss.

Jimmy Stone brought a cake to the ring and announced that it was his partner Dan Paysan’s birthday. Stone was able to deliver Dan’s birthday wish, helping Dan win the IWS Tag Team Titles, ramming Cheech into a Skratch pillar with a sickening thud that allowed Dan and Jimmy to double-team Cloudy for the win.

Both Sexxxy Eddy and EXesS were unable to make the show for personal reasons, so our new IWS President, Nic Paterson quickly arranged a match between Player Uno and the Evil Ninja, a match between an IWS Original known for his hardcore ability, but an underrated high flyer and one of the IWS New Guard known for his high flying, but very underrated for his hardcore wrestling. In fact, the match turned on Player Uno trying to prove himself to the Ninja, taunting Ninja to hit him harder and harder with a chair, leading to Uno’s black and silver mask gradually staining red. After losing the match, Uno was rushed to the hospital where he received ten stitches.

With Stupefied and Shayne Hawke needing a match along with returning IWS veteran Heavy Maxx Fury, Nic threw them all together to see what would happen. Before the match started, Shayne Hawke took the mike to accuse EXesS of fabricating a family emergency to avoid facing Shayne Hawke and losing the IWS Canadian Title. Hawke finished by promising to win that title and end EXesS’ career the next time that EXesS appeared at the IWS.

The impromptu three-way was short but sweet as Maxx continues to impress with absolutely no rust despite not wrestling in nearly five years. Stupefied appeared to have the watch won after clobbering Maxx, but chose to go up top for a frog splash that gave Hawke a chance to ambush Stupefied with the TomaHawke for the win.

And now I grudgingly turn this IWS Report over to the new IWS President and my new boss, “Tin” Nic Paterson. I should probably also mention that Paterson was doing commentary during the Beef/Steen Main Event and seemed as surprised as anyone when the lights went out.